The most common mistake that us guys make is that we think we can win a girl's heart by giving her flowers, teddy bears, and text messages. In some cases it works (esp. if the girl is still in her adolescence), but in most cases, it simply doesn't. This courting ritual invokes behavior that will make it harder to win the girl's heart. Depending on the girl's personality, past experiences, and environmental influences, the girl will follow social norms so she will purposely play hard to get; or she will feel awkward and will not appreciate your presence, creating the opposite reaction that you were expecting. Oftentimes, however, the girl will unconsciously think that you are "buying" her with your expensive gifts and will feel repulsed by such move.
Unless you are courting an innocent 14 year-old girl, lavishing her with gifts is a big no-no.
There are many strategies on attracting a girl. But like what I said in my previous post, those strategies border on deception, and are simply means to an end. I do not play, and I promised myself never to break a woman's heart. But reality made me realize that women rarely rely on cold logic to decide on things, so I am forced to use those strategies from time to time. This, sucks, I know. But until I meet a woman who uses her head more than her heart, there's nothing I can do. I wish I can find such girl.
Monday, August 06, 2007
Thoughts on courtship, as debated in http://www.istorya.net/forums/index.php?topic=141240: